That Cold Heart Girl

Sometimes, people would judge you and call you whatever they believe you are without knowing the real you. Sometimes, many eyes would look at a girl and call her cold not because of winter, not because they think she is feeling cold and she might need something warm to wear but because she has not been too kind or smile to the world and open her heart to the universe as expected. My question is, have you ever wonder why this girl is so close-minded? Have you ever taken the time to question her about situations and why she acts this way sometimes? I believe your answer is probably “No, not really, I have not gotten the time to do so.” Well, if this is right, then you need not to judge this girl because that girl you called cold heart has been through more than what can fit into that heart. That cold heart has been taking in more than an overflowing bucket of water. The pains and sorrows are filled and there is no more space in that heart for them to survive. As modest as her heart, she has shared it with everyone and everything in this universe. She has been the kindest living thing. That cold heart girl had broken her heart completely to anyone who needed her love without doubts. Her heart might seen small but she has the biggest heart of all. She has a forgiven heart; a substance that will set you free after you have done it so much wrong, a heart that will tell you “it’s all right” after slapping it more than twice. That cold heart has forgiven more people than you have loved and share with. That cold has accepted more pains and disappointments than you could ever imagine that if you have any imagination.

That cold heart girl grew up without her parents by her side till this day.
You called this girl you cold heart? Well, she lived with her mother a quarter of her life, but yet has no clue who she was. That cold heart girl has no idea who her father is or was. She was not supposed to be here today, but God helped her soul. This girl has been cursed, dissed, deceived, lied to, stabbed inside out, and shot many times but she’s still standing. That heart has been tortured, and beaten, it has so much scars; visible and invisible ones. You haven’t thought about all that, have you? Maybe not cause you are so busy being hard on her. Did you ever sit down quietly and wonder why this girl is so strong and has not vanished from this world? Are you able to smile everyday, every second, minute, hour, days when your heart is burning hot? Are you able to live in a place which is bursting out with flames? Burning hot that no water can lower the heat? Are you able to stand these situations, will you survive these events? Look at yourself, I can see you hesitating, shaking your head, speechless and confused. You won’t be able to endure all these events or situations, but this girl with the cold heart did.

She has a place to call home, but what is a home without happiness. What is a home when the only place in that home is your room, where you find solace? There are so many people roaming around from couches to couches yet, no one to share your sorrows, pains, fears, and heart’s desire to? This cold heart girl has no sisters to fight with, laugh with or chase around the house. The ones she has are not really hers because they all have owners. Sometimes she wishes for someone, someone like a parent but who are you kidding. If you are born without a twin, you can never have one, same thing with parents. You were born and have not seen your parents since you were a baby, what makes you think you would have one now. You might run into someone whom you might get close to and referred to you as their sisters or brothers, but in reality, you can never fit into that class because you both know the truth. Outsiders will always tell you apart. Forcing yourself into that family would be like changing your gender and thinking nobody would remember your true identity. You got to be kidding me!
Anyways, why call anyone such names when you do not know them or been in their shoes which would never fit your foot?

See that girl you called cold heart? She had put up with anything this world has to offer. People used to tell her she will get pregnant before she is done with middle school. And guess what? She rebukes it and worked hard to prove these voices wrong. When she got to college, the same voices came down haunting her ever moves. Trying their hardest to break her. They used to whisper in her ears when she is sleeping at night “you are a nobody, you are nothing, get that into your brain. You were born and will always be a nobody, we all know your story, the beginning and the end. Like mother like daughter is what you are bound to be. So stop trying. College is not for you, so don’t you ever waste your time.” Do you hear these voices in your ears while reading them? How do you feel?

During the day, she will grin and laugh with everyone she sees because she was born to please and make everyone equally happy. There are no strangers in her world, everyone is a friend and every friend is a family. She has a heart of a gold, a gold that no other can reach. Despite the pain in her heart, she is strong. She will sacrifice her happiness, so you can be happy. She will lie and say “am not hungry,” so you can eat the food just because she does not want you to go to bed hungry.

That cold heart girl has a heart no other heart can be compared to; she is a warrior because she made it through the storm. She was a nobody but is about to be everybody’s somebody. That somebody who everybody’s going to look up to someday. That cold heart girl has a dream as big as the globe, a dream that will change lives around the universe. She has a dream to put a smile on every sad face, and make the world shine more than it has. So be careful what you say next time you see a young lady who might look like someone with a cold heart. You might just regret your words if you don’t think twice before speaking!

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